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Call Him Mr. Tub

Posted by Non-Hamster on March 17th, 2010

With all of the recent new additions to the population here in Nutjob Hills, I'm beginning to think that I'm going to need to start a spreadsheet to keep track of everybody and what they're all doing.  No I'm not actually that much of a snoop, it's just that I find their various and sundry stories and (mis)adventures to be frequently entertaining, they're frequently something that I end up writing about because of how weird and sometimes funny some of their exploits can get.

Some of these people are almost entirely normal folks who go about normal day to day lives (except for their one little quirk), others like Mr. Helpful are full out whack jobs that are almost legendary.

Anyway, one of the new additions is a guy that everybody has taken to calling Mr. Tub.  They do so partly because he bears a strong resemblance to Sidney Poitier and partly because he also looks like the classic "Before" picture in alli weight loss advertisements.  I've heard him admit to weighing over 450 (though not exactly how much over he won't say).

What makes him qualify as a genuine resident of Nutjob Hills is his job.  He sells weight loss supplements.  Not only that but he apparently does it very well and makes a substantial income doing it.  The guy is on the go constantly, one of the busiest people in the area.  In spite of that he takes time to work out for an hour every day and runs no less than five miles every night rain or shine.

What I don't get is how he can be so busy, so active, and not show any sign of dropping pounds.  I was in his house once during a little "meet & greet" that he invited everybody to when he moved in.  His kitchen hasn't got a "bad for you food" in it.  According to all reports that I've heard nobody has ever seen him eat something that wasn't healthy. There's plenty of witnesses too, his dining room & kitchen are in the front of the house with wide bay windows that are never covered and he frequently invites people over at the drop of a hat.

I've seen him in the grocery a few times and he's never so much as looked at a potato chip, twinkie or pizza.  The man is a mystery.

Technorati Tags: nutjob hills, healthy eating, weird, sidney poitier, odd, humor

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