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Court Won’t Monkey Around

Posted by Non-Hamster on September 29th, 2007

There's a court in Austria that's got a bunch of animal activist types in an uproar because it refuses to legally declare a chimpanzee to be a person.  Frankly, I can see why the court won't go along with this idea.  It's really very simple.  A chimpanzee is not a person.  It's an animal.  Perhaps a clever animal but still it's just an animal nonetheless.

The only reason they want the critter declared a person is so that they can get around some law that says that you have to be a person in order to receive personal gifts from donations to an animal shelter to pay for their care.  Now I am not a hamster nor am I heartless.  I understand that they've good reason to want to try to do something to insure the animals get taken care of however I don't think this is the right way to go about it.  If the court were to declare chimps to be people then we'd be living in "Planet of The Apes"... you'd have to deal with chimps taking all the jobs, hogging all the good seats at Penn State football games and who knows what else.  Who knows, maybe they'd all get together and start a bunch of lawsuits trying to get the Bananaphone videos banned and we just couldn't have THAT could we?

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  1. ThirstyJon on 09.10.2007 at 08:09 (Reply)

    Oh my.

    This one is really bizarre.  Do you have a link to that story?  I’d love to read it!

    “Hey hey we’re the Monkeys, people say we Monkey around, but we’re to busy singin’…”


  2. Non-Hamster on 10.10.2007 at 00:04 (Reply)

    You can find the article here:

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