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The Doubter

Posted by Non-Hamster on February 23rd, 2011

So this morning I am minding my own business, sitting at the Nutjob Hills Diner, having my coffee when this total stranger walks in.  He took a moment to look around and then headed in my direction.  Five seconds later he was sitting down at my table as if we were old buddies or I had invited him and somehow forgotten.

Obviously not of course.  I don't voluntarily share my morning coffee time with very many people and strangers I've never seen are on the bottom of the list right next to politicians and lawyers.

His self important butt had no sooner begun to make an impression on the seat when his mouth opened and he began demanding that I show him proof of the claims that I have made that the best acne treatment in the world was made from a popular sandwich spread and that I needed to produce the clinical studies to back up my claims.

I have to say that I am quite proud of my reaction.  As much as I wanted to kick him in the shins under the table while jack-slapping him above it, I sat there calmly and waited for him to finish his tirade of demands.

"Are you finished?" I asked.  "is there anything else you want to add to that list?".  "No." he replied. "I think that about covers it."

That's when I proceeded to let him have it.  I informed him that first of all, I have not at any time made any such claims that the concoction based on sandwich spread was the best acne treatment in the world.  The person who created it did that and *he* did so based on his own experience with it and that of other people that he has sold it to.  *I* merely reported the story, with a fair bit of skepticism on my part, which he would have noticed if he had bothered to actually read what I've written about it.

Secondly if he really wanted detailed information about the claims made about it he should contact the person who invented it and not go bothering writers in the middle of their morning coffee.

Thirdly I told him that sitting at my table is by invitation only and that he was the wrong gender for me consider inviting to my table without having pre-arranged a meeting to discuss a business matter.

Then, just for good measure, I decided to throw in a little something extra to keep him honest and hurry him on his way.  I told him that I also do a certain amount of investigative work here in town and that I was going to have a good hard look at his profile and that if he was still in town the next day I would be glad to inform him what I had found . . . by way of having it printed on a billboard in the middle of town with his picture on it.

He assured me that would not be necessary and left in something of a hurry.

I relaxed and decided to have another cup of coffee.

Technorati Tags: presumptuous, demanding, arrogant, twit, acne treatment, nutjob hills

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