There is a growing crisis in America today. Propane sucking penguins, once almost exclusive to the colder climates of the north, are now migrating at least as far south as Arkansas.

These Evil birds are draining propane tanks everywhere they go and are probably one of the primary reasons for the increase in the price of propane over the last several decades. Meanwhile the government is doing nothing about propane sucking penguins at all. I am not a hamster, this stinks all over like a cover-up.

Don't be deceived by insufferably cute, innocent looking penguins such as those featured in Mary Poppins or the ones that can be seen dancing their brains out in Happy Feet. These Vile birds are after your propane supply!

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