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She's Up To A New High In Low

Posted by Non-Hamster on June 22nd, 2012

I haven't heard anything about the would-be Mrs. Helpful in several months and had actually begun to think that perhaps she had finally gotten the message that Mr. Helpful has no interest in marrying her or anybody else and left town to find some other victim.

Sadly this is not the case.  She's apparently been quite busy behind the scenes working on hatching another plot to commit matrimony whether he wants to or not.

The (as yet unconfirmed) report that I heard today was that she is now claiming to be pregnant with his child.  This is quite a feat considering that I've heard from Mr. Helpful himself that he wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole if he had one.

The report, which is actually more of a rumor at this point, goes on to say that Mr. Helpful's reaction to this bit of news was, shall we say, predictably less than enthusiastic and that he immediately demanded dna testing.  His would-be wife responded by handing him some test results that, on closer inspection, turned out to be a boy or girl dna test and not a test to determine paternity like he was talking about.

So now he's apparently threatening to haul her into court with a lawsuit to demand paternity testing because there's no way that he could be the father.

Like I said, this is all unconfirmed rumor at this point.  I haven't seen Mr. Helpful in a couple of weeks so I've not had a chance to check with him about how much of this is true.

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