The Curse Of The Email Forward

A male teddy bear hamster who doesn't forward emailI got another one of *those* emails today. You know the kind, you get most of them not from the automated spam-bots around the Internet, but from your friends and family members.

I’m sure you’ve seen the kind I’m talking about. They all offer some sage advice, a poem, a moving story or even a prayer and then they tell you that if you believe in God, love your spouse or care about anything or anyone then you’ll be sure to forward the message to everybody in your address book because if you don’t then people will know you hate them and / or there’ll be some kind of disaster or your face will suddenly prune up and you’ll spend the rest of your shortened life investing in top wrinkle cream formulas to remove the fingerprint of non-cooperation from your face.

The one I got today contained a bit of text that talked about how God opens doors for people. It was even scripturally accurate. Then it admonished me “If you believe, send it. If you don’t believe, delete it.”. It closed with the instruction, “If you need God to open some doors for you…send this to ten people”.

I love my family but I am not a hamster, Just because one of them sends me an email that instructs me to be sure to forward the email to everybody in my address book doesn’t mean I’m going to actually do it. My refusal to forward these things has nothing to do with my belief in God or the fact that He most certainly can and will do amazing things for people. There are two basic reasons.

1) Forwarding an email has nothing to do with whether or not God will do this or that for you or whether or not you’ll suffer some disaster. The ONLY thing it does is put an extra load of unwanted and unnecessary email on a system that’s already overburdened with unsolicited commercial spam and make life difficult for the people who run mail servers and those who receive tons of this stuff they just plain don’t need.

2) If I want or need something from God, the only sensible thing for me to do is to spend time in study and prayer seeking His will, followed by doing my level best to DO that will. If I want to ask God for something, then I need to talk to HIM, not forward a bunch of emails to people who, for the most part, don’t want any part of it.

[Tags]email,spam,mail forward,forward email,mail servers,belief in god,commercial spam,moving story,sage advice,spam bots,wrinkles,address book,family members,prayer,disaster[/tags]

2 Replies to “The Curse Of The Email Forward”

  1. Amen!

    I have always wanted to start an e-mail with:

    Subject: Yet Another Prayer Wheel

    Message: Here’s another prayer wheel. Let’s see if the Devil could stoAaaaaaaaaaaargh!

    Ah, ha! I got one! I finally got one!


    I never got around to sending this to anyone though. It’s probably for the best that I didn’t!

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