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How shall I describe yesterday?  I like to keep this blog family friendly so I'm sure that most readers will understand my meaning when I just call it a "Rolling and Screaming Charlie-Foxtrot".  The details of this adventure is something that my wife will no doubt do a much better job of writing about than I can.  What I want to focus on here is the cherry on top of that "wonderful" day.

We ended up pulling in to the Mountain Home Motel at around 1:30 in the morning.  We were both exhausted and sore.  My wife was hurting badly because of the situation with the blood clot in her leg that she's already written about.

I went in and filled out the check in card and the person there got us checked in at a leisurely pace as if customers that were obviously tired enough to pass out right there didn't matter in the least.

When we got to the room it was equipped with the sort of furniture that you might expect to buy second hand when moving companies sell the broken down stuff that's been in storage too long.

There was a refrigerator that had the door standing wide open.  It was a good thing that we didn't need it because it never even tried to get cold once I closed it.  Atop the fridge there was a microwave oven.  I honestly don't know if it worked or not because we never had need of it.  In retrospect I'm glad that I didn't try it because given the condition of the rest of the place, it could well have burned the place down around us.

The air conditioner was a most special treat.  It was an ancient window unit that looked like it may have been over forty years old.  It had two controls on the front, one for it's temperature setting, one for the cooling mode.  Between the two controls there was only one control knob.  It fit the temp setting control easily enough, but was very loose and hard to use on the cooling mode control.  When I touched the control to turn it on to give us some desperately needed relief from the heat, the entire front panel of the unit simply fell off!

I put the front panel back on and then after about another five minutes spent trying to get the thing started It finally came on.  The air coming out of it was warm with the hint that it might eventually get cool.

The television worked, although the little door over it's fine tuning and color adjustment controls was missing completely and it came equipped with one of those universal remotes that's supposed to work with any set.  The remote didn't work at all and yes, I made sure to use the TV, Cable, and Aux buttons on the remote to make sure that it was in the right mode for the tv but it never affected the set at all.

The bathroom door was too narrow to accommodate the walker that my wife needs to get around these days.  She ended up having to leave it at the door and hobble the last six feet hoping she didn't fall in the process.  The management of that miserable hole can thank God himself that she didn't.

Finding the lack of any kind of channel guide to be one of the lesser of many evils, I futzed around with the front panel controls on the set and managed to find something to watch as we unwound enough to sleep.

I am not a hamster, I know what you're thinking and I DID pick up the phone to get the management and complain but when I did I was greeted with a steady audio tone that wasn't quite as high pitched as a modem carrier tone.  After several attempts to use the phone I tossed it back onto the dresser slash tv stand that I found it on.  By the way, that dresser had four large drawers in it.  Too bad that none of them would open.

In retrospect, after the phone screamed at me I *SHOULD* have gone out and banged on the manager's door and demanded that something be done to fix this insanity.  I can only plead being to bloody tired to see straight, let alone argue with management that obviously doesn't give a crap about it's guests or even the reputation of their establishment.

Somewhere around 3:00am my wife woke up literally suffocating from the heat.  I spent more time with the AC unit and finally went out to the car and found a pair of pliers that I was able to get it into a cooling mode that actually made the air in the room cooler.

The next morning after we were packed up and ready to leave I went to the office to drop off the key.  While I was there I gave a rundown of all this stuff that was wrong.  All this alleged person could be bothered to do was laugh about it.  Apparently he thinks that guests having problems with his motel is funny.

As I left I said that there was no excuse for all this stuff being wrong.  I also said that I would be going out of my way to recommend that people avoid the Mountain Home Motel.

As I was walking back to the car this backwoods couch potato that is the shame of honest backwoods couch potatoes everywhere yelled behind me.

"You gwan back to your world where everything is perfect".

I didn't answer him then because I just wanted to go home.  However I'm going to answer him here though I doubt that He'll ever read it though perhaps somebody will read it to him.

I'm not expecting perfection but I do expect things to work.

However what I do expect from a motel is an air conditioner that works.  I expect to be able to turn it on and set the temperature without the front panel falling off of it.  I expect to not have to use a pair of pliers to turn controls that don't have proper control knobs on them.

I expect a tv remote to work, something that might have been possible if the thing had fresh batteries in it but that's YOUR responsibility, not mine.

I expect to pick up a room phone and get an answer in the office if I don't dial 9 for an outside line.

I know that a small motel like that isn't going to be the Ritz however I think I'm entirely within my rights to expect better than what I got.  If you're not the owner of that motel, I sincerely hope that you're fired and replaced with somebody who will actually attempt to maintain the property and equipment and treat guests right.  If you are the owner of the Mountain Home Motel, I would not be surprised to find out that you have closed or sold it.

To all of my readers I strongly recommend that if you are ever in Mountain Home Arkansas in need of a place to stay that if the Mountain Home Motel is your only choice you would be better off sleeping in your car.

Technorati Tags: rude clerk, mountain home arkansas, broken ac, bad motel, mountain home motel, not maintained, review, place to avoid, avoid this motel

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2 Comments

  1. Tilly on 23.08.2008 at 23:57 (Reply)


    Thank God, you survived.  At least it did not turn into an episode from Texas Chainsaw Massacre # whatever.

    Tillys last blog post..Attack of the Cricket

    1. Non-Hamster on 24.08.2008 at 11:29 (Reply)


      yeah, if it were located outside of town I’d have to wonder if Norman Bates lived close by.

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