Maybe you are, but I’m not.

« Top Ten Reasons Women Are Better Off With Geeks Symptoms Of Changing Times »

My Nightmare On Elm St

Posted by Non-Hamster on February 16th, 2009

It started out innocently enough, I was busy at my computer updating some blogs and working on a couple of other projects, just like any other day when I began to smell smoke.

At first I figured it was the neighbor's fireplace because there's been countless times when the wind is blowing from that direction that the output of their chimney ends up being blown toward my house.  It's been going on ever since we moved here and so I never give it a second thought anymore.

After a while I decided to go make another pot of coffee because my 52 oz mug was nearly empty.  As I left the computer room on the way through the living room to the kitchen I saw that the living room was filling up quickly with thick smoke.  I looked around and it was coming from the middle of the couch where the cushions meet the back.

I pulled the cushions off the couch and the smoke started pouring out faster and I could see the flames now working their way up the back of the couch, beginning to blacken the plaster wall behind the couch.

I dropped the mug and headed to the kitchen to grab a couple of large bowls of water that were sitting in the sink.  When I returned with them the fire was out.  It had been extinguished by about a four foot depth of water that had apparently flooded upward out of the large (about 3 foot square) metal grate in the hallway floor over the furnace.

As I stepped into the hall the water was retreating back down through the furnace grating.  I remember thinking "Great, Now I gotta lite the blasted thing again".  As I was standing over the furnace I looked up into the computer room and saw a variety of extremely weird looking fish, giant worms and other hard to describe oddities.  That's when it hit me, "This is a dream!" I said to myself.

I knew it for certain, suddenly remembering that the furnace in my house isn't one of those hatefully dangerous in the floor types nor are the walls in the living room plaster.  They're paneled.  This wasn't real, couldn't be.  That meant only one thing to me.  It was him.  He was messing with my dream.  I looked around to see where he was.  Turning back toward the living room I saw the butt ugliest creature imaginable.

It was shaped kinda like a cross between a bullfrog and a really small tyrannosaur.  What convinced me it was him is that it's color was red and green horizontal stripes.  It meant only one thing.  I had to take control of the dream from him and the way to do that was to call him by his name and let him know he couldn't beat me.

FREDDY!! I yelled.  It was horribly muffled the way screams and speech can be in dreams where you have to scream but can't, but it got out.  The monster changed it's shape and size, resuming the form we all know from the movies.  I knew that I only had seconds left because he was coming at me quickly, the infamous razor glove raised to strike the fateful blow.  I felt like I was talking with a mouthful of glue as I put every bit of strength I had into one last scream.

KRUEGER!! This time it came out louder and stronger.  He stopped cold, the look in his eyes one of confusion.  I knew that I had won.  That's when I woke up.  The very first thought that went through my mind was "THAT WAS COOL!!!", the second was that probably nobody would ever believe that I really had the dream, that they'd all think it was some clever story crafted to post here.

Well all I can say is that I am not a hamster nor am I blessed with that particular kind of creativity.  Putting it in plain terms, You can't make this stuff up, it's a completely true story.  I really did have this dream this morning.  The truly amazing part is that I remember every detail so clearly.  I've had so-called "Lucid Dreams" many times before but it's never been THIS vivid.

And if it should happen again, it won't be like in the movies where he always manages to win in the end.  I've got his number and can put him down easily by ordering him out with the authority of the name of Jesus.

Technorati Tags: thick smoke, lucid dream, bullfrog, giant worms, odd creatures, flood, square metal grate, furnace, Freddy Krueger, authority of Jesus, tyranosaur, Nightmare On Elm, fire, true story, weird fish, metal grate

Be Sociable, Share!
  • Twitter
  • email
  • Facebook
  • StumbleUpon
  • Tumblr
  • Google Reader
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Link to this post
Just copy this code and paste it on your site where you want the link to appear:


  1. Tilly on 16.02.2009 at 23:24 (Reply)

    You go dude!  Jesus ROCKS.

    1. Non-Hamster on 16.02.2009 at 23:32 (Reply)

      Yeah, it’s the one angle nobody in the movies tried.  Of course, that could have made for a really short movie too and freddy wouldn’t have ended up making millions for a lot of people either.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Proudly powered by WordPress. Theme developed with WordPress Theme Generator.
Copyright © I Am Not A Hamster. All rights reserved.