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Computers In The Movies

Posted by Non-Hamster on October 14th, 2009

Ever stop to think about some of the glaring mistakes and outright impossibilities that show up in the use of computers in movies?  Well, there's a lot of 'em believe me.  Seriously, I am not a hamster, I'd love to have a machine capable of some of the things you see movie computers doing.

The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it's got on it.  However because those buttons aren't labeled, using it takes years of training unless the character is under 18, in which case he or she knows more about it than the people who designed it.

Movie characters never make typing mistakes and hardly ever need to backspace.  If a character does need to delete a line or paragraph of text, they need to repeatedly bang on the backspace key instead of highlighting the part they want to remove and hitting delete.

Most movie word processors don't have a cursor.

To send an email all you need is the person's name, even if they're NOT in your address book.

Most high tech computers like the ones used by the CIA, Pentagon, or the NSA, have easy to understand GUI's.  Those that don't, have incredibly powerful text command shells that can easily understand and execute commands typed in plain English.

Movie computer makers don't need a fulfillment center because the users never need to call tech support or order replacement parts.

You can get access to any hidden files by simply typing "ACCESS SECRET FILES" on a command line.

You can also infect a computer with a destructive virus by either typing "UPLOAD VIRUS", or by typing a few neatly formatted lines of C followed by the word "Execute".

If you overload a movie computer it will probably explode in a shower of sparks and smoke.

Movie laptops always seem to have amazing real time video phone capabilities and the performance of a supercomputer.  They can also usually connect to the internet without a physical connection even if the movie is set in a time before Wi-Fi.

All computers are connected. You can access the information on the bad guy's computer even if it's turned off.

Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn't go faster than you can read. The *really* advanced ones also make sounds like a dot matrix printer when displaying text on the screen.

People typing away on a computer can turn it off without saving the data and not lose anything.

A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world after guessing the password in less than four attempts.

You can get around any PERMISSION DENIED by typing an override command.

Loading huge amounts of data or performing incredibly complex calculations and usually take less than five seconds.

The modems used in movie computers transmit data at two or three gigabytes a second.

If you're looking at a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it instantly disappears from the screen.

If a disk has encrypted files on it, you're asked for a password when you put the disk in the drive.

All computers can read all disks from all systems, no matter how different they are and all systems use the same set of application software.

Most movie computers, regardless of how small or old they are, all have reality defying 3D, animated photo realistic graphics.

Movie monitors are so bright that you can see a reflection of it on the user's face.

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