I realize that the title of this post sounds just a bit "out there" but I can assure you that I am not a hamster and I've NOT been smoking asbestos or drinking draino cool-aid or anything like that.
You see, for several years now he's had occasions where he'd get very sick, throwing up long past the time when there wasn't anything left to throw and experiencing a lot of pain in the process. The frustrating part is that the doctors have never really been able to isolate exactly what the cause of the problem was. Partly this has been because of his arthritis, vasculitis, having had a couple heart valves replaced, and being on steriods for the greater part of the last 13 years.
Doctors have at one time or another suggested or tried just about every kind of testing that they could think of in their efforts to chase down this most elusive of bugs. Everything from assorted scans, xrays and blood work to biopsies, the best colon cleansetreatments and endoscopic examinations galore.
Earlier today the latest doctor came in with results from some of the latest round of testing and his own search to identify whatever this thing is and he basically told him that if more tests confirm his theory, that the problem is that he's a vampire.
I only wish I could have been there with a video camera to preserve that exchange!! The details are still a bit sketchy on this end but essentially the doctor thinks that a disease called porphyria could be the source of what has added up to years of misery and hospitalizations.
Porphyria's symptoms are such that it is thought by some to be the factual basis behind many vampire legends. There's apparently several variations of it and it can vary in severity from one case to another. As an extra special note, not only can it be "acquired", it can also be genetic in nature, a fact that his kids and the rest of our family are sure to get considerable mileage out of.
As of this writing, this diagnosis hasn't yet been confirmed but all things considered, I just couldn't NOT say anything about it. Even if the doc eventually decides that this isn't the cause of his problems, I'm sure that he'll be writing about it in more detail on his blog on The Other End Of The Internet when he gets home from this round at the hospital. True or not, this is just too rich to leave alone. As for me, well, don't tell him but I think I'm going to see if I can find a black cape or maybe a copy of Dracula, Blade or Forever Knight in time for Christmas. *cackle*