17 Stupid Things To Do At Wal-Mart

We all know that WalMart is famous for people doing strange and stupid things. What many don’t know is that doing stupid things at WalMart is rapidly becoming a national passtime.

I personally do not recommend doing stupid things, especially in public places but if you absolutely have to (or your just really THAT bored), here’s a list of 17 suggestions to get you started.

1. Take a shopping cart and fill it with stuff then leave it in the middle of an isle. Repeat until there are two or three abandoned carts in every isle.

2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals all day.

3. Sample all of the air fresheners, spraying them all in the same area to make an “interesting smell”.

4. Repeat number 3 with perfumes.

5. Have a sword fight with rolls of wrapping paper.

6. Set all of the radios to a polka station and then turn them all off with the volume at max.

7. Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen you in forever!” etc. Just to see if they will play along to avoid embarrassment.

8. Move a “Caution: Wet Floor” sign to a carpeted area.

9. Follow someone through the store, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave.

10. Try to put a candy bar on layaway

11. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

12. Randomly rearrange how products are shelved.

13. Put the ketchup in the meat case next to the hot dogs.

14. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

15. Put a “Valet Parking” sign in front of the store.

16. Rearrange the CDs in electronics.

17. Leave a trail of orange juice on the floor leading to the restrooms

What would you add to the list? Let me know in a comment!

Bob’s Not Quite Secret Admirer

I suppose that sooner or later it had to happen. Especially here in Nutjob Hills. Bob has a “secret admirer”. Though it’s anything but secret. I think most of the town knows about it.

Normally Bob would eat something like this for breakfast, milking it for all that it’s worth in every way possible. This time is different however. His first clue was the new guitar that the girl bought and the book of easy songs for the guitar….every one of which has over the top lyrics about how much the singer loves somebody and how they’re fated to be together forever and so on.

As you can guess, Bob’s not too thrilled with this, he’s very much the confirmed bachelor and intends to stay that way indefinitely. The very idea of settling down with one person permanently is totally alien to Bob and I just can’t see him changing

However, like the would-be Mrs Helpful, this girl isn’t giving up. She’s not deterred by a little thing like Bob’s total and complete aversion to the mere topic of marriage.

Instead she’s pressing on, beginning a campaign to win him over.

This could make for an “interesting” winter.

[tags]bob, nutjob hills, marriage [/tags]

Making Him Wait

Over the last few weeks Bob (the opinionated, obnoxious gerbil with a thing for Star Trek Babes “gone wild” pictured at the top of this blog) has been bugging me to get the next episode of his adventure in the Minecraft universe done so that he can move on to doing new, hopefully cool, things.

Lately he’s been making it a point to belabor how incredibly, insufferably bored he is. He’s even started working on building a computer using Redstone so that he can connect with some online business schools and work on his degree while he’s waiting.

Because building a computer out of Redstone is no small task and honestly, it sounds cool as all get out… I’m actually thinking of deliberately stalling on the next episode just to see if he can pull off the Redstone computer.

I mean really, a Redstone calculator is a big enough accomplishment but a whole computer… now that would really be epic!

Meanwhile I have to admit that I’m having a hard time picturing Bob in any kind of business school. There aren’t a whole lot of things that I can say that just doesn’t make a very good picture and Bob being serious about looking over online business schools to get a business administration degree is definitely one of them.

I can just see him in a business management position and ending up either on the run or terminated for transforming the business into his own personal toy ( he has a way of doing that to most things he’s involved in.) Somehow his idea of “business” and how to conduct business seems to mostly originate in movies like ‘The Godfather’

Stuff like that just doesn’t go over very well in classrooms, be they the physical ‘in person’ type or online business schools that you attend via your computer and it certainly won’t fly in the board room.

[tags]bob, minecraft, alternate universe, alternate reality, impatient, waiting, redstone, computer[/tags]

Episode 5 of Bob’s Minecraft Adventure

Bob has gotten the beginnings of his underground base of operations put together and he has finally started mining. Though he does take time to do something cool with the main shaft he dug coming down.

I’m glad he’s doing good in his adventure but when he gets back him and I are going to go a few rounds. It seems that Bob has been ordering stuff in my name. And it’s not just stuff he needs for his job because … well, you tell me. He hasn’t written anything on paper since he discovered email and the web so why does he have an office chock full of William Arthur stationary?

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. He doesn’t even smoke but he’s got FIVE BOXES of cigars!! and there’s enough pipe tobacco in his closet to fuel a pipe convention! Seriously! There must be five pounds of it back there!

[tags]bob, animated character, minecraft, minecraft world, minecraft universe, alternate universe, bob’s adventure, bob in minecraft, new adventure, yto, orbit, tinfoilchefdotcom[/tags]

Episode 3 of Bob’s Minecraft Adventure

As of this update Bob is into his third day in the Minecraft world and he has indeed been very busy. He’s actually been so busy of late that I was really surprised when I got a message from him asking me to send him some of the latest new wii games. Honestly, I didn’t think he HAD one of those with him.

I mean seriously, he was supposed to go with nothing and start out in the Minecraft universe just the way players do in the game… with nothing but their bare hands.

He wasn’t allowed to bring his collection of “Babes of Star Trek gone Wild” videos either. Something I have been hearing a lot about lately.

[tags]bob, animated character, minecraft, minecraft world, minecraft universe, alternate universe, bob’s adventure, bob in minecraft, new adventure, yto, orbit, tinfoilchefdotcom[/tags]