Unreasonable Thy Name is Bob

Of all the people that I’ve dealt with over the years I have to say that on an individual basis I think that Bob is probably THE most unreasonable person I’ve ever met, let alone worked with.

I can deal with his obsession with “Babes of Star Trek gone wild”. I’m ok with his insisting on having a steady supply of french vanilla cappucino on set. As long as he keeps the volume down and gets his work done I don’t even care that he watches tv twenty two and a half hours a day.

I think however that this time he’s gone too far. You see he wants me to get him a garmin golf GPS watch. He’s been after me to get it for him for a week now.

I have heard countless hours of him talking about it, both to me and to others (making it a point to be where I could hear him when he does of course). He’s been over every positive point about it and how great it is almost non-stop.

Why do I think he’s being unreasonable by wanting it?

Aside from the fact that he expects me to pay for it there is only one problem with all this and it has nothing to do with the device itself.

Bob doesn’t even play golf.

How could he? He’s only about four and a half inches tall.

[tags]bob, unreasonable, golf, gps, tracking, utility[/tags]

This is seriously weird

Things have been slowly returning to normal now that Bob has returned from the Minecraft universe. The downside of this is that his habit of odd forms of excess have returned with him.

I mean seriously, what does anybody need with 47 toothbrushes? or seven cell phones? (he uses a different one every day of the week) and will somebody please tell me just exactly how he managed to get not just one but four bridal shower invitations?!? I realize that he’s somehow managed to be popular with the ladies (I just can’t understand why, he’s not exactly the kind of guy you take home to meet the family.) but isn’t that traditonally an event that’s attended only by the bride in question and her women friends and family? How did Bob manage to get invited to ONE, much less four of ’em?!?

In any event, at least his strange excesses are not stopping him from working on Points of View. A new episode of that should be uploaded sometime later today.

[tags]bob, points of view, excess, odd, strange[/tags]

Bob’s Urgent Christmas List

I had no sooner finished my last posting about how people (and businesses) are entirely too early with the whole Christmas shopping and commercialization thing than Bob came into my office.

“I just read your blog post” he said. “oh, great, I thought you never read my stuff.” I replied. “yeah well you think a lot of things, that doesn’t make ’em right y’know” he said in his famous sarcastic tone.

I thought for a moment and then calmly responded “Bob, I assume you have something to talk about? If not I’ve got work to do.” “yeah I do”, he began. “I get that you don’t think this Christmas thing should be happening this early and believe it or not I agree with you. But there’s one thing on that list I kinda need right now. The rest can wait ’til whenever.”

“Oh? what’s that?” I asked, thinking maybe I didn’t really want to know (what can I say? I know Bob too well). “It’s my girlfriend.” he started to say. I interrupted him “Bob, you know it doesn’t count when you have to pay her.” “very funny” he said, “I suppose you’ve got a million smartass comments but this is for real.” “Ok Bob, fine. she’s real, what do you need?”

“Well, she’s into this beadwork thing, actually does it for a living you see and I want to do something special for her. She only uses the very best swarovski crystal beads in her work and I want to get her a prime collection of them to show her that I actually take her work as seriously as she does.”

I thought about this for a bit. You see it’s not really like Bob to be so concerned about what somebody else thinks of him. He’s always been very much a loner and proud of it. So him wanting to go this far to impress somebody is real news.

I looked back at him and said, “Ok, so you want to do this for her to show you’re serious. That’s cool but how about we just consider this a loan and leave Christmas out of it for now?”

“You mean you’ll do it?” He asked, disbelief in his voice. “Yeah, but only because I’ve got your pay for the next year set aside. I’m gonna have to borrow out of that fund to do this so you can either pay me back or consider this an advance on your pay. I cannot afford to do it any other way. Interested?”

He said yes so fast I thought his head was going to spin. By now he’s busy picking out the selection that he’s going to give her.

Bob with a girlfriend. Who would have expected that?

This next year is going to be really interesting I can tell that for certain.

[tags]bob, girlfriend, gift, urgent, unexpected, surprise[/tags]

Ever Heard of Breast milk ice cream?

I know *I* have never heard of Breast Milk Ice Cream before that’s for certain!

Apparently however, it’s for real. Or at least it was until London officials confiscated the supply of the ice cream that a London shop was marketing under the name “Baby Gaga”.

They said that it was unsafe because viruses such as hepatitis can be passed on through breast milk. The company said that they screened the milk with the same requirements used for screening blood donors before it was pasteurized and churned with vanilla beans and lemon zest.

I have to say that it’s more than a bit pricey. It is served in a martini glass and sells for 14 pounds (That’s about $22.50 USD).

What I’d like to know however is just exactly what it is that made anybody think that this would be any kind of a good idea at all.

Frankly, this has GOT to be one of the fraking weirdest ideas I’ve heard of in a LONG time and trust me, I’ve heard some real whoppers in my 51 years. I mean, I thought Nutjob Hills had a lot of “eccentric” people. London must be packed to the gills with ’em!

Oh, and if you think I’m making this up, read the AP story about it here

[tags]ice cream, breast, milk, breast milk, london, baby gaga, weird, bizarre, strange, odd, wtf[/tags]

Some Parents Have NO Sense About Naming Children!

I’m totally serious here. There are some parents (usually only deserving of the term because of biology) that have absolutely zero sense when it comes to their children. This is particularly true when it comes to the names that they saddle these unfortunate young ones with.

While I could present an assortment of generic examples, I’ve got one that’s getting attention on a world wide scale.

In the recent unrest in the Middle East that resulted in Egyptian dictator Muhammad Hosni Sayyid Mubarak leaving office and a major change in the Egyptian government, Facebook has been credited for helping to organize regime-ending protests.

So far, so good, right? Here’s where we reach the “WTF?!?” point.

You see, out of gratitude for Facebook’s part in the changes in Egypt, Jamal Ibrahim decided to honor the social networking site by naming his firstborn daughter (are you ready for this?) Facebook Jamal Ibrahim.

Now I’m sure the first thing a lot of people will say is that I’m making this up. Ok. Fine. Read about it yourself in this zdnet story. It really happened.

Now I get that he wanted to honor the site that helped his country change. Great. Wonderful.

Build a monument. A statue. Almost anything. But for the love of God don’t go naming your daughter after it! That’s just insane! Have some consideration for how she’s liable to feel about that name fifteen years from now. She might very well hate you for it.

[tags]egypt, government, change, facebook, father, names, baby, social networking site, baby names, stupid baby names, horrible baby names, insane baby names, wtf, is he nuts, are you crazy[/tags]